One of the things about being a writer that feels so lonely is that figuring out how to regain your focus when you’ve lost it requires a different path for everyone. I couldn’t ask anyone for help because I didn’t know what exactly was blocking my writing or even felt comfortable revealing what was going on career-wise since I’m not close to other writers. So it takes a while to get back to a good headspace even though I do write to pay bills.
This isn’t a self-pity post, it’s just being reminded about some inconveniences when it comes to working as a writer. There’s also a realization of how suddenly this industry can go bonkers like during the Christmas Eve RWA debacle. The holidays were supposed to be planned downtime, but instead, I get slammed in the face with every ugly facet of the genre I write in with my former publisher front and center in the mess.
The end of 2019 to the start of 2020 has been a lot. For the sake of having food and bills paid, I have to get my mind straight. I’m mostly there through binge reading, binge watching Netflix, lots of cookies, and typing out a few sentences whenever I could just to feel like something got accomplished. Also, not blaming myself. This was a lot of stress to take on at once, and being self-employed doesn’t come with the greatest support system.
Yes, I chose this job, but that doesn’t mean not getting payed on time, seeing discrimination of people like me, and uncertainty of how stable the writing industry will be in the next few years are things I should expect or take with a smile. All of this is upsetting, and many other writers are feeling the same way too. So if you’re struggling, please take care of yourself and don’t blame yourself either. If your writing schedule isn’t where it should be or you’re feeling doubts, that’s okay. You’re not alone. Find whatever happiness is available to you and use that to get through hard times.
Sorry for the blathering, but I just needed to put this out there. Now, I’m going to take my needed vitamins, drink some water, and then go on the hunt for a sheet cake that doesn’t cost a fortune.