Getting There

The first two months of 2020 were a bit of a nightmare. Everything went wrong, including ordering a simple calendar. Things are beginning to lock into place although some personal goals might be trash depending on how this pandemic pans out. Evidently, I picked a really bad time to rejoin humanity, and now I have no idea if money might get spent on health crap if I get sick. I’m anemic and have fibromyalgia, but I’ve spent the last couple of years becoming a lot stronger physically. So that might help. *Shrugs*

I’ve pushed back Just the Tip until July when I can put out a Christmas book when people might actually buy it without letting it sit in a drawer until the end of the year. After getting over what I discovered was an aversion to working on High Fantasy novels thanks to the reminder they me gave of my stranded books with ‘They Who Shall Not Be Named’ former publisher, a spigot got turned back on, and I almost feel normal again. Thoughts of my books are consuming me again. That might sound a little unhealthy, but that’s actually my normal state of being since my teenage years. Being depressed by my own stories was really sad for me, especially since Fantasy is my favorite genre.

If I’m not feeling too nervous next week, I might post some chapters of the stories I’ve been working on. It’s something I’ve meant to do but it got postponed because of last year’s drama. In my wip are a mix of several tropey stories that run from low action to High Fantasy, so I guess I’ll flip a coin or something.

Writer Self-Care

One of the things about being a writer that feels so lonely is that figuring out how to regain your focus when you’ve lost it requires a different path for everyone. I couldn’t ask anyone for help because I didn’t know what exactly was blocking my writing or even felt comfortable revealing what was going on career-wise since I’m not close to other writers. So it takes a while to get back to a good headspace even though I do write to pay bills.

This isn’t a self-pity post, it’s just being reminded about some inconveniences when it comes to working as a writer. There’s also a realization of how suddenly this industry can go bonkers like during the Christmas Eve RWA debacle. The holidays were supposed to be planned downtime, but instead, I get slammed in the face with every ugly facet of the genre I write in with my former publisher front and center in the mess.

The end of 2019 to the start of 2020 has been a lot. For the sake of having food and bills paid, I have to get my mind straight. I’m mostly there through binge reading, binge watching Netflix, lots of cookies, and typing out a few sentences whenever I could just to feel like something got accomplished. Also, not blaming myself. This was a lot of stress to take on at once, and being self-employed doesn’t come with the greatest support system.

Yes, I chose this job, but that doesn’t mean not getting payed on time, seeing discrimination of people like me, and uncertainty of how stable the writing industry will be in the next few years are things I should expect or take with a smile. All of this is upsetting, and many other writers are feeling the same way too. So if you’re struggling, please take care of yourself and don’t blame yourself either. If your writing schedule isn’t where it should be or you’re feeling doubts, that’s okay. You’re not alone. Find whatever happiness is available to you and use that to get through hard times.

Sorry for the blathering, but I just needed to put this out there. Now, I’m going to take my needed vitamins, drink some water, and then go on the hunt for a sheet cake that doesn’t cost a fortune.

2nd Writing Journey

Self-publishing is very strange to me. I don’t know what’s normal or what’s a good use of my energy compared to what I did for traditional publishing. So I’m unsure of whether or not I should keep doing something or stop…

Now my schedule is different because I make time for outlining. Outlining has become very important, and it used to be very tedious for me to do. All of a sudden I like doing it. *Shrugs* It’s like self-publishing has changed my whole mindset, but I’m still figuring out what my new strengths are.

As a more independent venture, this was really something I needed to recover from the first journey that while not a failure, was still disappointing. This is all me, and there’s no one else to mess it up. This should be daunting, but it actually feels good. Hopefully, readers will like what I put out, and I can continue on this second journey.

Happy Turkey Day!

From today through Cyber Monday here in the US, War God’s Servant is a freebie. So if you like steamy Gay Fantasy with battles, give it a shot!

You won’t hear much from me because I’m finishing up another Fantasy novel. This book has a dragon shifter knight, so uh, the sex scenes in it do reflect that a bit. *Cough*

This book is harder for me to get a handle on because I have to get the nuance right between my main character, Alex, and his family of evil wizards he’s taking on. Making sure the budding romance blends in with the plot seamlessly isn’t the easiest thing to do either. Deep down, Alex doesn’t think he’s going to survive the conflict with his family, so he’s closed his heart off a bit. Luckily, dragons are very stubborn when they find the right lover.

NaNoWriMo 2019 Update

I slipped behind very quickly because of imploding publisher stress and indecision about my future writing schedule. It’s taken a lot of contemplation, but I think everything is settled in my head.

My new NaNo goals are to reach 50k in words and outline my stories throughout the first quarter of 2020. The second goal is a bit harder because I kinda hate thorough outlines. Unfortunately, it’s something I really have to improve at for cleaner writing in order to have more productive work sessions. This is very important to me as a so-so full-time writer.

That’s all for today. May everyone have a good NaNoWriMo this year!

Fall Cleaning

There’s a lot of cleaning going on. Of both my work area and my writing habits. The former has been easy to organize and assess what needs to go. The latter not so much until I began tackling the last third of Keep Calm and Don’t Eat People. In the past, skipping scenes so I could continue on with the rest of the book used to be a great option for me. Now it’s a hindrance that makes me want to buy a hat just to put it on and then yank it off to chew on angrily.

Skipping scenes worked for me when I was unsure if the books I wrote in the past would be finished. Now I know that current or future stories will get an ending, but a skipped scene adds to the anxiety of possible wasted writing. I have a chronic pain condition so I can’t just LOL at missing scenes that when added, may no longer connect with the story and creates the demand for long rewrites. I must guard my spoons wisely. Otherwise, the burnout cometh.

So that’s my goal during NaNoWriMo. Write more efficiently instead of wasting so many words.

Complete My Work

That’s it. That’s my mission statement. It’s a fairly important one for me because my body is kinda fickle about how it wants to behave. For now, I’m the healthiest I’ve been in years, so I don’t want to squander this time. I want to finish as many stories as possible and find out what I’m really capable of.

There are two smaller goals I want to accomplish: have enough money for dental work and move to Seattle. A major factor with my health is environment, and the southern US which has been getting record numbers of 90+ days isn’t too great for me. Living in a rural area while being lgbt is soooo stifling too.

From the links on the side bar, you’ve probably figured out that I write gay fiction. Mostly Romance and Fantasy with random stories thrown onto online sites. The stories with solid happily ever afters are what’s on Amazon, but more of the *cough* questionable content will end up on Wattpad, AO3, and Tumblr. The messed up stories will come with a lot of content warnings, so I won’t just spring them on people. It’ll take a while to get to them anyway, so that’s more of a future thing.

The books that are currently out are:

Veiled Dancer – A Gay Romance featuring a marriage competition over a hot king.

War God’s Servant – Horny God of War gets turned on by a soldier just trying not to die on the battlefield.

What’s coming soon:

Blood and Motive – Epic Fantasy with elemental powers, hot knights, and a horny dragon.

Keep Calm and Don’t Eat People – A very polite werewolf who tries his best not to eat people ends up in a quiet town that is teeming with other monsters.

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